So, as I was saying in the last post… a few years ago, I experienced a vicious battle unlike any other. During a prayer time with the Lord about the battle He brought to my mind the word Vortex, which would not have been something I would have thought of on my own, so I began to study that word and all associated information with it.
You can find the technical information through Google searching, but the experience… I don’t hope you know, but if you do face it I’m here to testify you can come out by God’s Grace! This is feeling a bit powerful, so as you read this, I pray for your protection and that the Hope of Jesus stays with you, and that Jesus uses this to teach, encourage and strengthen you.
For me, the battle raged for several years. I’m trying to think of how to describe it and all I’ve come up with is that it is a savage
assault to every part of you, mental and emotional, and is aptly called “Hellish”!
Part of knowing the enemy is to know his battle tactics!
The vortex is hellish in velocity, consistency, and depth. It spins us at an overwhelmingly high rate of speed, is constant for a long period of time, and we are in way over our heads!
A vortex forms a vacuum that pulls down, things of substance, into an empty decaying cavity. The center of the vortex is where the battle is the worst, opposite the eye of a hurricane where it’s calm in the center. What causes a vortex?
1. Developing Lift and Thrust – even at the stage of us just developing into who God wants us to be, the enemy sees the potential in us for God and has one goal: to bring us down!
2. Friction – Two bodies/substances rubbing against each other causes circulation (as in a spoon stirring coffee). Friction is the clashing of God in us and the enemy pulling us.
The void, by definition, has no substance, which is key to identifying the enemy! Nothingness, Blackness, Emptiness, Rottenness, Decay, are the enemies substance.
The torment of the Vortex is how the enemy works on the mind, spinning lies as truth, twisted assumptions, illusions that work on our emotions to bring depression, anger, offense, rejection, etc… How else can he bring us down? He has no authority over us, so his only hope is to steer us by what he puts in our minds and hearts. Endless day and night torment to give up, feel hated, distrust God, distrust people, violent images, breath steeling fear, isolation, overwhelming sadness, depression, hopelessness…
In a spin there is only confusion!
I would want to become someone else; just walk away from my life, change my name, and create a new life, except the illusions to that was: that all I felt was wrong with my life would actually disappear if I did, and that if I became someone else God would lose track of me so I could live however made me happy.
I thought if I were dead all things would be better! Talk about an illusion! The torment was so awful that I would ask God to take me, I didn’t want to live that way anymore, I couldn’t. I didn’t see any good. The vortex blinds us to what is up and what is down, what is good and what is bad. We don’t have the tools to navigate properly.
The biggest illusion: that if we would just let go of God, let go of living rightly, the dream God gave us, or let go of whatever other good things we have we will gain peace, relief, and an easier way to go. And to be sure that is actually truth! The enemy would have what he wants, which is our spiritual destruction, and we would be left alone which would feel easier, for a while. But that is just another illusion, and one that he sells successfully daily! There are many who buy that one, but it’s just a trick. If we could put our hand out to touch that idea we’d see that it’s a hologram. Reality is that we just let go of our Anchor (Jesus) that was keeping us from hurling toward the void. We will find we’ve given up all that God has for us to eternally gain absolutely nothing.
The mental attacks were exhausting and made me feel like I was going to ‘lose it’. I felt like I was, mentally, hanging off the
edge of a cliff only holding on by my finger nails. I felt like it was only a matter of when that I would fall off. I was afraid to live, and afraid to die. Sounds crazy, unless you’ve been there!
More illusions! Fear that God has left me, fear that what I’m waiting on won’t happen, fear that it’s all been a fantasy I’ve made up in my own mind, fear that I won’t have kids and a family, fear that my life won’t be what I wanted, doubts in God, doubts in the plan, doubts in even wanting that plan for my life, doubts in just about anything he could throw out, and doubts in whose voice I heard – Jesus or the enemy?!
He stilled the storm to a whisper; the waves of the sea were hushed.
♪ ♫ “Somehow He pressed his way through my madness and touched the hem of my garment…and I know I’ve been made whole. ♪ ♫
About Thoughts, Emotions and Fear:
Most of us live our life based on our emotions. If we are feeling blue we are blue all day only getting happy if by some chance someone perks us up. If we are angry we come up with ways to express it or hide it, but either way it taints our day. Well, the
truth is that the enemy takes full advantage of this God-given aspect of our flesh! He knows the buttons to push, knows the illusions to present to us, and loves it when we live by what we feel.
The Vortex would spin and the enemy would have his way with me. I would react just as he wanted; until God showed me I had a choice!
The Truth is we are not meant to live by what we feel. Contrary to that, we are actually to make the choice of what we’ll feel daily, hourly, or whatever it takes, to live and feel what the Word of God tell us. What the bible says about God’s faithfulness, what it
says about his plan for our life, what it says about who we are in Christ, and what it says about Jesus! How everything He did makes everything in us, and our lives redeemed, healed, and set free!!
It takes faith to believe in fear. Faith is the substance of things hoped for but not yet seen; likewise, fear is the substance of things we’re afraid will happen that are unseen (has yet to happen).
The energy we exert being fearful, we could exert being faith filled!
The Truth of God reveals the lies, illusions, and tricks of the enemy.
The truth of all this is that without Jesus I would not have made it.
Jesus is my, our, Anchor in this life. He holds on to us, uplifts us, strengthens us, and never let’s go!
Without Jesus there really is only nothingness, a void in us and in our life.
The enemy doesn’t deny there’s a void, he just spins us an illusion that the void would be filled by him or by us or by the next thing we buy or by another spouse… but Jesus is the only true substance in this life, and only Substance fills a void.
If you do go through a Vortex, Jesus is all you need!
“Set Me Free”
It hasn’t always been this way
I remember brighter days
Before the dark ones came
Stole my mind
Wrapped my soul in chains
Now I live among the dead
Fighting voices in my head
Hoping someone hears me crying in the night
And carries me away
Set me free of the chains holding me
Is anybody out there hearing me?
Set me free
Morning breaks another day
Finds me crying in the rain
All alone with my demons I am
Who is this man that comes my way?
The dark ones shriek
They scream His name
Is this the One they say will set the captives free?
Jesus, rescue me
As the God man passes by
He looks straight through my eyes
And darkness cannot hide
Do you want to be free?
Lift your chains
I hold the key
All power on Heav’n and Earth belong to me
You are free